"I've Made A Mess Of Me"

I hate the past. Life could potentially be better without one. At least, to remove everything except the experience of it. I just want the past to dissipate and go away. I don't want her or my past to interfere anymore. It causes un-necessary arguments (mostly due to a lack of understanding on either of our parts). There's no point in expressing the reasons why. There are no reasons. The past is behind us...not our current concern...who cares...Our investment. That's what cares. We pissed away time, emotion, energy, and time on that crap. So our investment in it (no matter how misguided) cares.

Now, is that bad? Is it wrong to hope that our entire time with that other person was a waste? I don't think so. The things that hurt us are so much of what makes us who we are today that it'd be foolish to think that it's wrong to wish it never happened. But, now that we're living as our current selves, why dwell? There's really no reason. Why is this?


Because what is developing the current me is you. I like me now. I've never liked me like I like me now. My life is no longer a mess...it's useful.

[kyle]

P.S. You may have just listened to my "gotta finish this beer, like, tonight" ramblings...sorry if it doesn't make sense. I'll re-read it tomorrow to be sure it's alright...