There are those milestones in life that cause you to reflect. Who knew that 24 years and some change was what would cause a huge reflection. It may not be as much my age and time on this earth as much as it is a lot of major life events. I came to the conclusion recently that I may just be too old for some things now. It's getting to be about that time. I'm not going to go make any sort of Murtaugh list or anything as that has a tendency to limit my possibilities. But, I have evaluated that drama and personal issues that have arisen at work are not for work, they're not even for home. I'm almost 25, and being petty about "who's dating who" and "did you hear what happened to so-and-so?". These are not my issues to deal with. I don't care about your personal life while I'm at work. I mean, really do I? No, because it's none of my business and I don't want it to be.
Furthermore, Kimberly is my life, not yours. She belongs to her family and me and if you want to try to horn in on what's going on when it really is none of your business, I'm not going to be friendly to you. I'm not coddling her, I'm not being overly protective, I'm not controlling her. She is her own woman and I'm allowed to and want to be apart of it. Don't mess with it.
I'm also too old to be involved in whatever's going on in your life. Trust me, if I'm interested in what's going on with you, you'll know. I'd call, text, facebook, blog, comment or maybe just talk to you...point is, you'd know.
This is all really intense, I understand, but it's just getting old getting wrapped around someone's personal life that was not my business to begin with. The problem is that venting my frustrations about my previous choices (and their current consequences) here (to Brad, Kim, and whoever RSS'd this) isn't much at solving my issues with myself. I guess that I just needed a place to write down my resolve so that I can re-read it later and be reminded that getting too involved hurts you. Being involved itself isn't the harm, it's the trying to extend a helping hand to someone that shoves it hard enough to slap your own self in the face, that is the true danger. I'm over it.
[kyle]
27 July 2009
23 July 2009
"Truth" In Advertising
Let me keep this short and sweet: Even though I quit smoking over seven months ago (for the love of my life), it's really annoying to have to watch these ads by "truth". There are at least three things that I can think of literally off the top of my head that are not meant to be consumed by the human body that people use to feel better, and some of those items run positive ads for their products! Allow me now to review for you, the reader, what I think is ridiculous about this dichotomy that I'm going to call "truth in advertising".
1) Coffee
No BODY on the planet earth should ever consume this much caffeine ever! It's un-natural to keep the body awake against it's will, yet we all (yes, myself included by other means) are guilty of the "pleasure" of being able to command our bodies to stay up until the minute we allow ourselves the nap that we call "nighttime". Not only is this consumable the most common commodity of our generation, but it's celebrated amongst the artists, business class, and poets alike! People actually sit, pontificate, and discuss how bad certain things are in the world whilst they choke down that swill harvested [most likely] by some Columbian drug lord's 500th, illegitimate child.
2) Fast Food
The only thing fast about "fast food" is that it makes you large fast. No need to list the companies that should be (and sometimes are for other frivolous reasons) on trial for presenting this "gift" to America and the other countries of the world, because we all know that one "restaurant" of guiltiness that we frequent when we just don't have the time. The biggest problem that I have with fast food companies of the millennium, is that they have now ruined what used to be a moderate pleasure and have bastardized the good and quality with a "healthy" salad that comes in a plastic cup or a "cheeseburger" that's been processed as much as a Lady Gaga tune. We shouldn't be getting off our asses to give our money and our artery space to these jackass companies that have no other obligation than it's stockholders.
3) Cigarettes
One of the best-known "bad things" and we're trying to extinguish it like it's global warming. I know, I know "my [insert important relative here] died a horrid death from lung cancer and I just don't think anyone should smoke". Listen, I have a lot of sympathy for people who lost relatives from their stupid decisions, but that doesn't mean you should legislate to control other people's bad habits anymore than we should be dictating what people do sexually. Everyone keeps complaining that our law-makers are wasting OUR money by debating stupid "issues" and yet, we, as a people, actually want our representatives to try to make laws to make smoking in public illegal, smoking in private illegal, charging 300 dollars a pack to kill yourself slowly. Don't get me wrong, it is MOST definitely bad for you, but if you as an American want to kill yourself or get emphysema or get lung cancer...by all means, I'll support that.
Well, so much for keeping this short and sweet, but it is really annoying to see a "truth ad", paired with a McDonald's commercial, followed by a Starbucks ad. Stop it. Beyond being annoying and frustrating it's a huge waste of time and money. Truth people: give your money to the homeless and starving.
[kyle]
1) Coffee
No BODY on the planet earth should ever consume this much caffeine ever! It's un-natural to keep the body awake against it's will, yet we all (yes, myself included by other means) are guilty of the "pleasure" of being able to command our bodies to stay up until the minute we allow ourselves the nap that we call "nighttime". Not only is this consumable the most common commodity of our generation, but it's celebrated amongst the artists, business class, and poets alike! People actually sit, pontificate, and discuss how bad certain things are in the world whilst they choke down that swill harvested [most likely] by some Columbian drug lord's 500th, illegitimate child.
2) Fast Food
The only thing fast about "fast food" is that it makes you large fast. No need to list the companies that should be (and sometimes are for other frivolous reasons) on trial for presenting this "gift" to America and the other countries of the world, because we all know that one "restaurant" of guiltiness that we frequent when we just don't have the time. The biggest problem that I have with fast food companies of the millennium, is that they have now ruined what used to be a moderate pleasure and have bastardized the good and quality with a "healthy" salad that comes in a plastic cup or a "cheeseburger" that's been processed as much as a Lady Gaga tune. We shouldn't be getting off our asses to give our money and our artery space to these jackass companies that have no other obligation than it's stockholders.
3) Cigarettes
One of the best-known "bad things" and we're trying to extinguish it like it's global warming. I know, I know "my [insert important relative here] died a horrid death from lung cancer and I just don't think anyone should smoke". Listen, I have a lot of sympathy for people who lost relatives from their stupid decisions, but that doesn't mean you should legislate to control other people's bad habits anymore than we should be dictating what people do sexually. Everyone keeps complaining that our law-makers are wasting OUR money by debating stupid "issues" and yet, we, as a people, actually want our representatives to try to make laws to make smoking in public illegal, smoking in private illegal, charging 300 dollars a pack to kill yourself slowly. Don't get me wrong, it is MOST definitely bad for you, but if you as an American want to kill yourself or get emphysema or get lung cancer...by all means, I'll support that.
Well, so much for keeping this short and sweet, but it is really annoying to see a "truth ad", paired with a McDonald's commercial, followed by a Starbucks ad. Stop it. Beyond being annoying and frustrating it's a huge waste of time and money. Truth people: give your money to the homeless and starving.
[kyle]
16 July 2009
Perception
Life can be so much more than you think it is. Things can happen unexpectedly and change everything for you, much like the beat to a song you're enjoying. Song's change, but it doesn't mean it's always a bad thing. Sometimes you just have to relish the time you had with the beat you had since it really is what brought you to this point in the song. I'll tell you this, it's not time for us to stop dancing because the music got slow or went to a minor key. It's time for us to continue to move with the melody and enjoy the other people in the band! Now is the time to dance! Keep moving! Ignore the other crap going on, live today for today for the reasons you should be. Live for the finale! This is our one shot to be apart of this one time and it's only our fault or responsibility to make the most of it.
[kyle]
[kyle]
14 July 2009
Greatest Hits: Number 4
I've been dying to tell everyone all about last weekend. Let me start with last Tuesday though when I received a very out of the blue text message with the best idea inside it: "can we have a date night this Friday?" To which I replied, "sure". Little did I know it was a date that would change my life. I made reservations via the OpenTable app for Marche Moderne (which I highly recommend) and dessert and drinks at Charlie Palmer. Reservations for destiny.
I had the most beautiful blonde staring at me, across my table, all to myself in this wonderful little french restaurant at South Coast Plaza. We had wine, sparkling water, and our appetizers on the table. These two hours of my life were the most fulfilling two hours I've ever had. I've never felt so more connected to someone in conversation or in life as I have to Kimberly. We had a night that reminded me that my dreams have become reality. Our conversation took us from religion to family to our childhood pre-occupations...we relived our meeting, our year of hardships, our choices (good and bad)...I learned her. I became more of a part of her life. She became more of mine, although I wasn't living much of one until I crossed paths with her.
Anyway, our main courses consisted of fantastic morsels that we devoured and celebrated. It was presented by the wait staff that informed us that the chef is married to the pastry chef. Poetic. We were treated like regulars there. I want to be a regular there. Our dessert and paired wine that we ordered was superb and equally celebrated. I think we'll go back to Charlie Palmer as well.
All in all, it was the night that has earmarked the future for us and will be a night we won't be forgetting anytime soon. Number 4 on my "Greatest Hits".
[kyle]
I had the most beautiful blonde staring at me, across my table, all to myself in this wonderful little french restaurant at South Coast Plaza. We had wine, sparkling water, and our appetizers on the table. These two hours of my life were the most fulfilling two hours I've ever had. I've never felt so more connected to someone in conversation or in life as I have to Kimberly. We had a night that reminded me that my dreams have become reality. Our conversation took us from religion to family to our childhood pre-occupations...we relived our meeting, our year of hardships, our choices (good and bad)...I learned her. I became more of a part of her life. She became more of mine, although I wasn't living much of one until I crossed paths with her.
Anyway, our main courses consisted of fantastic morsels that we devoured and celebrated. It was presented by the wait staff that informed us that the chef is married to the pastry chef. Poetic. We were treated like regulars there. I want to be a regular there. Our dessert and paired wine that we ordered was superb and equally celebrated. I think we'll go back to Charlie Palmer as well.
All in all, it was the night that has earmarked the future for us and will be a night we won't be forgetting anytime soon. Number 4 on my "Greatest Hits".
[kyle]
03 July 2009
Three Small Words, 100 Million Little Things
There is no amount to end the hurt I will inflict on myself. Direct or indirectly, I do it to myself and those who love me. I've lived, but a whole 24 years to my credit and continually do I throw myself in the way of what is painful and horrible to our emotional health. I have finally started living...living enough that not only does the past not matter, I'm forgetting it. The future is not only healing the past, but erasing it! Exciting, isn't it?
I hate the English language for this reason. The words sting as they are re-read from my own "mouth" back at me and I am ashamed. English doesn't allow for change in meaning, inflection, gravity...it only allows you to repeat yourself. I've said words before, I either meant them or not, but the past is being erased as we speak by my incredibly bright BRIGHT future with her! I have no other words left to me by English! I have wasted not only myself, but my precious words. The tarnished, feeble few that are left at my disposal leave her disappointed and sad and leave me to hold my words in my sad hands silently because I can't seem to find words worthy enough of her. I will inevitably spend the rest of my days searching for something to do or say that isn't tarnished by someone not even an eighth worthy of what Kimberly is.
She is my everything, but that's not what I mean, I mean my MORE than everything...
She is my other half, but not only that, she's what MAKES me, me.
She is my best friend, but more than that, she is everything I love about myself.
She is my family, but I mean a word that doesn't exist, someone more than family.
It really, truly is a hundred, million little things that not only complete my life, but enhance it. She makes me thrive instead of live, absorb instead of breathe, overflow instead of fill...she's my everything and my all, my passion and my inspiration, my partner-in-crime and my confidant, my care-giver and my care-taker, my happiness and smile, my light and my warmth...she's more than I could ever be expected to describe in such little space. She fills more than a webpage, more than a book, more than any library in the world!
I hope that one day I can live up to being a 100 things to her and maybe make her feel like she's not only needed for my survival, but also that she's wanted.
I love you, Kimberly Ann Walker...more than I could ever tell you...I hope to always be trying to be worthy of your love.
[kyle]
I hate the English language for this reason. The words sting as they are re-read from my own "mouth" back at me and I am ashamed. English doesn't allow for change in meaning, inflection, gravity...it only allows you to repeat yourself. I've said words before, I either meant them or not, but the past is being erased as we speak by my incredibly bright BRIGHT future with her! I have no other words left to me by English! I have wasted not only myself, but my precious words. The tarnished, feeble few that are left at my disposal leave her disappointed and sad and leave me to hold my words in my sad hands silently because I can't seem to find words worthy enough of her. I will inevitably spend the rest of my days searching for something to do or say that isn't tarnished by someone not even an eighth worthy of what Kimberly is.
She is my everything, but that's not what I mean, I mean my MORE than everything...
She is my other half, but not only that, she's what MAKES me, me.
She is my best friend, but more than that, she is everything I love about myself.
She is my family, but I mean a word that doesn't exist, someone more than family.
It really, truly is a hundred, million little things that not only complete my life, but enhance it. She makes me thrive instead of live, absorb instead of breathe, overflow instead of fill...she's my everything and my all, my passion and my inspiration, my partner-in-crime and my confidant, my care-giver and my care-taker, my happiness and smile, my light and my warmth...she's more than I could ever be expected to describe in such little space. She fills more than a webpage, more than a book, more than any library in the world!
I hope that one day I can live up to being a 100 things to her and maybe make her feel like she's not only needed for my survival, but also that she's wanted.
I love you, Kimberly Ann Walker...more than I could ever tell you...I hope to always be trying to be worthy of your love.
[kyle]
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