There is no amount to end the hurt I will inflict on myself. Direct or indirectly, I do it to myself and those who love me. I've lived, but a whole 24 years to my credit and continually do I throw myself in the way of what is painful and horrible to our emotional health. I have finally started living...living enough that not only does the past not matter, I'm forgetting it. The future is not only healing the past, but erasing it! Exciting, isn't it?
I hate the English language for this reason. The words sting as they are re-read from my own "mouth" back at me and I am ashamed. English doesn't allow for change in meaning, inflection, gravity...it only allows you to repeat yourself. I've said words before, I either meant them or not, but the past is being erased as we speak by my incredibly bright BRIGHT future with her! I have no other words left to me by English! I have wasted not only myself, but my precious words. The tarnished, feeble few that are left at my disposal leave her disappointed and sad and leave me to hold my words in my sad hands silently because I can't seem to find words worthy enough of her. I will inevitably spend the rest of my days searching for something to do or say that isn't tarnished by someone not even an eighth worthy of what Kimberly is.
She is my everything, but that's not what I mean, I mean my MORE than everything...
She is my other half, but not only that, she's what MAKES me, me.
She is my best friend, but more than that, she is everything I love about myself.
She is my family, but I mean a word that doesn't exist, someone more than family.
It really, truly is a hundred, million little things that not only complete my life, but enhance it. She makes me thrive instead of live, absorb instead of breathe, overflow instead of fill...she's my everything and my all, my passion and my inspiration, my partner-in-crime and my confidant, my care-giver and my care-taker, my happiness and smile, my light and my warmth...she's more than I could ever be expected to describe in such little space. She fills more than a webpage, more than a book, more than any library in the world!
I hope that one day I can live up to being a 100 things to her and maybe make her feel like she's not only needed for my survival, but also that she's wanted.
I love you, Kimberly Ann Walker...more than I could ever tell you...I hope to always be trying to be worthy of your love.
[kyle]
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3 comments:
When are you getting married? :-D
I agree with Marcos when are you two getting married? I have heard the things she's says about you and I think she feels the same way. I think that you two are perfect for eachother, you are always there for her when she needs it, and I think life is always going give you a curve ball, BUT when you have someone in your life [like kim] it makes it that much easier to get past it!!!!
Just keep on loving eachother.
ps-your a good writer!!!!
That was disgustingly sweet. You are both amazing people!
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